Bowel movements

God Is Stupid

God has cursed us with bowel movements. Pooping and pissing are an incredible design flaw of the human body. Leaving me to believe that God may be all powerful, but he's not all smart.


Don't tell me that God created us perfect, in his image, therefor our bodily functions are perfect. Has God ever had to run to a bathroom because his ass was going to explode on a city street? Desperately 'HE' tries find a a place to drop the kids off at the pool, being turned away like the Virgin Mary from inn to inn, and forcing 'HIM' to shit in a barn. No he hasn't.  By show of hands, how many of you have squatted behind a car because a bathroom was not available? Don't lie bitches!


It would not be so bad if we only had to do number 1 and 2, once or twice a week. But three to four times a day is ridiculous! Or on the other side of the spectrum, your so backed up you become impacted and have to take a butt load of laxatives to get your body to do to the rotten thing it was created to do- crap!


Let's also discuss the impact bowel movements have on the environment: methane gas, toilet paper, water, and sewage. If a scientist could create a pill that would eliminate bowel movements, global warming would be stopped dead in its tracks. Come on scientist, get cracking!


When it's my time and I am in line waiting to enter the pearly gates, heaven forbid there is not a bathroom around. I have no problem dropping trough behind a cloud and leaving it up Saint Peter to clean up the mess.